COMMENT WALL


(Motivation can be in many forms, but my favorite is through stories and words about inspiring people; image provided by The Blue Diamond Gallery)

Comments

  1. Hey! So just finished going through your website and your story collection. So I thought the Brahmin was really well written. I think the meaning of a selfless person really does come from how one places others before themselves. Brahmin lived a very simple life. He cared about providing just the necessities and even would starve himself if it meant others were fed. That kind of selflessness is unparalleled. I also like the way the story brought in Krama and the good fortune that was brought to him due to his work! Your website is coming along great!

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  2. First, I want to say you chose a great concept for your Storybook! I liked that you chose to write your stories as not only for motivation but they also serve the purpose of teaching life lessons to readers. Through the Brahmin, we learn to always do good and good will come to you. I liked that you didn't just start with the story right off the bat but gave an insight into what is to come, it grabs the readers attention and makes them want to keep reading. The only thing I would add is describing more into detail of who Dharma is just in case readers forgot who he was and it would cause a bigger impact when the characters discover who he is, other than that I have nothing else to add. Great job in your story, I enjoyed reading it and I cannot wait to read more!

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  3. Amandeep,
    I previously commented on this story on your blog post, but this story is so good that I need to comment again. I think that this story beautifully encompasses a message that is a life lesson for all to learn. I like how you took a confusing story and turned it into something that everyone can read and understand. "As they say, good things happen to good people, especially when we do good out of the goodness of our hearts," is one of my favorite lines from your story. I also like how you have made the characters so easy for people to relate to. I also think that your author's note perfectly explains your motivation for the story you have created and allows readers to know exactly what your thought process and overall goal for this story was. Overall, there isn't really anything I would change. I was truly inspired by your story.

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  4. Hey Amandeep!
    First off, I love the context of your story. The idea of taking the valuable life lessons already present in the Ramayana and just focusing on them for a story is something I haven't seen anyone else do, but I think it may be the best way period to read the Ramayana and reflect on it. The story is very well written, and certainly emphasizes the importance of being selfless and how that is visualized in the Ramayana. One suggestion I'd make is to possibly add some dialogue to your story. For the sake of making it more relatable and making the characters exhibiting these life lessons more personable, some dialogue between them could go a long way towards getting the message across. I would also suggest adjusting the layout of your home page just slightly so that it's more visually aesthetic. Maybe just adding some additional color or making the navigation tabs and comments more centralized and larger. Otherwise it was very well done, keep up the good work!

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  5. Hi Amendeep,
    First of all I think you have a very good concept for your project. One thing I noticed right off of the bat is that your home page says that the storybook project you are doing is for MLLL-3043. Shouldn't it be 4993 since we are in the Epics of India class not the Mythology and Folklore class? Maybe you are actually in the other class but I wasn't sure. I think one other thing you can do is to add dialogue to your story to make it more relatable. It also helps break up the text so it doesn't just look like blocks. Another thing I noticed is that your last paragraph seemed like it didn't really belong in the actual story. Maybe you could move that to the authors note. I feel like it might belong better there. Other than those two things I think you are making good progress! Good luck adding your second story.

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